Monday 21 May 2012

ARSENIO TAKES THE TITLE!

ARSENIO HALL, CA.

After a close final competition in which both teams were amazing, the torch was passed to Arsenio Hall. 
The deciding factor was his victories as project manager...and his relaxed style.
However, it was team effort which produced the results.
There were still some hurt feelings among the returning contestants, though restraint was the order of the day.
I sincerely hope that each player can leave the game behind and get to know one another in a more relaxed and friendly atmosphere. They all gave so much of themselves to each task, it would be a shame if that same effort isn't applied to getting to know each other better.
Can't wait for the next one....fantastic job!



Monday 14 May 2012

AUBREY FIRED!

TRANSPARENCY?...SHE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE!

The delicious Aubrey O'Day is deemed "transparent" and as a result she is fired. She certainly wasn't the only one. There was no mystery as to the motives of the rest of the contestants either, with the exception of Penn, Teresa, and Dee. Aubrey played a fantastic game. She was driven, enthusiastic, extremely smart, and overflowing with creativity. She certainly can think on her feet.
She should have won this. Maybe if she had launched a series of character assassinations against her teammates, or just been plain nasty, or even faffed about like Clay Aiken, she would have impressed the deity and its high priests. Who's transparent?




ARSENIO'S FINAL

THE MAGIC WAS THERE, BUT...

The task...Fund raising gala with entertainment, and PSA for his chosen charity.
Arsenio chose his teammates wisely. Lisa, Teresa, Adam, Paul.
His management style was relaxed. Every team member was given authority over their own task. They were trusted. No micro-managing here, just encouragement. They all did a fantastic job!
I think it paid off..big time!  Only one gaping flaw....the Magic was lost! The key feature of the whole video, Magic Johnson's speech, was filmed from the side instead of the front. Can Arsenio use it? Sure he can. Have the video vertical half-screen and splice another video alongside so that it looks as if Magic is talking to ...whoever they choose.
This cock-up could cost Arsenio the title....but I'm sure he'll pull it off with his sharp wit and charm.

Arsenio Hall - cool and collected.

* When choosing Team mates for the final task, the last two to be picked were Teresa and Aubrey. Arsenio chose Teresa. Understandable really. It's very hard to see clearly when your head is so far up the boss's arse.






Sunday 13 May 2012

FINAL - CLAY AIKEN

AIKEN'S HEARTACHIN'

The task...Fund raising gala with entertainment, and to create a short public service announcement for their chosen charity.
Aided by his chosen teammates, Aubrey, Debbie, Penn, and Dee, Clay sets out to produce the best video and raise the most money. 
He has his finger in every pie and must taste it before giving his consent...much to the frustration of his teammates! Everyone gave it their best effort but were hampered by Clay's nit-picking and anxiety. Penn came up with the best concept and was hesitantly given approval. Debbie was in charge of the music segment...can't imagine why...I don't remember any of her stuff! Aubrey would have been the best choice....eye candy, fresh.
Way too much time was wasted trying to find a suitable outdoor location to shoot video and audio. All of this should have been done in the studio...green screen, sound quality, containment.
Looks like he muzzled a lot of his teammates....A real shame 'cos a lot of creativity and talent was wasted.
Better raise a whole whack of cash Mr. Aiken....'cos that's all that's gonna be in your favour.
Better bring a big apple into the boardroom!

Clay Aiken - Headless chicken.

Nobody picked Aubrey to be on their team. She was snubbed...almost discounted. She only ended up on Clay's team by default. Understandable really. It is very hard for Clay to see clearly when he has his head buried so far up his own arse.




Monday 7 May 2012

CLAY INTO THE KILN!

A ROASTING FROM JOHN!

Clay Aiken's commitment to his task this week was outstanding! He did most of the work, making decisions on his feet, and improvising directions which should have been the job of the project manager...Lisa Lampanelli. Lisa was way too busy shopping for outdated clothing....which the judges didn't like anyway. I was sure Clay was going to spill the beans in the boardroom...but he kept his honour...this time.
Once again, John "it's all about the money" Rich was savage and cunning in his questioning of Clay's performance and  fundraising skills. At one point, Clay was left gobsmacked.....like he had tried to fart silently, then followed through.
I think you're Donald's favourite, Mr. Aiken...but it sure looks like he was pointing at you for the next firing!
Don't forget to bring in an apple next time.

TAP DANCING?

ARSENIO'S JOY!

I'm sure Arsenio's feet were dancing with joy under the table when Teresa was fired! Although she tried to throw him under the bus, he remained relatively calm...despite the fact that a few telltale wisps of smoke erupted from his ears.
His interviews with Marlee Matlin and John Rich....both went fairly well but left him feeling a little uneasy...as though he'd walked into the room with his fly undone and noticed it too late!

SAVING THE O'DAY!

AUBREY'S DEFENCE

Aubrey was great at her tasks this week. As usual, she had awesome ideas, and gave it her all!
Her interview with Marlee Matlin went well....but then came John Rich...aptly named because "It's all about the money"...right John?  If it was all about the money, then why not just have the Trump organization make an extra donation to the contestants charities and scrap the show altogether?
Playing this game is about putting all of your effort into each task and helping your team and project manager to win, not about how many rich friends you may have who are willing to give you money.
Great job Aubrey....you defended yourself admirably.
And did I mention.....yummy!

CRYING WOLF!

LISA LAMPANELLI

Gone...but most certainly not forgotten!
Lisa's firing came as a huge shock! Fired for crying? Ruthless!
 I thought she had escaped judgement when her team won this week's task. I say team because there were two members...but Clay was left holding the baby and did most of the work while Lisa went shopping for what turned out to be old-fashioned clothing. If their team had lost, then I'm sure Clay was ready to throw her under the bus.
While being interviewed by John Rich and Marlee Matlin, Lisa was surprisingly charming as she defended her emotional outbursts. It didn't work. John Rich was the master returning to the house, only to find it full of ripped-up furniture....and Lisa, the big bad wolf, sitting alone in the middle of it trying to look so innocent.

ABOUT THIS BLOG

PLEASE NOTE...

The comments and observations put forward on this site are directed only at the performance of the contestants and judges within the context of the show.
This site in no way infers judgement upon anyone's character, talent, or work ethic in their everyday lives.
They are all human beings and deserving of respect.

Saturday 5 May 2012

AUBREY O'DAY

MAKES MY O'DAY!

Aubrey's secret fantasy....To mount one of the Trump lads and ride him off into the sunset.
Aubrey is the smartest contestant on the show...and the hottest!
She may seem self-centered and critical but it's just a winning tactic.
She is driven, focused, and bursting with great ideas.
A pleasure to behold. Entertaining, strong, and full of energy.
I would be of no use on Aubrey's team due to the fact that my entire time would be spent with my jaw dropped, immobilized by her gorgeousness!
Aubrey, you can do no wrong.
You're the next Celebrity Apprentice!

LISA LAMPANELLI

LISA LAMPOONELLI

Lisa's secret fantasy...To hog tie all of the contestants, throw them in a heap, then dance around them naked singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts"
Lisa...wow!
I'm wearing a bullet-proof vest as I write this because I believe that her malice can reach me as I sit here...shaking!
I'd like to give her a hug and tell her it's ok to be nice, but it's impossible to do that to someone who's wrapped in barbed wire.
Her ideas are and plentiful, as are her bouts of pouting and savagery. She criticized Dayana for always wanting centre stage but she is actually gutted when she's not front and centre.
Working with Lisa..you guys may as well throw yourselves "under the bus" and save her the trouble.
Very clever, very talented and hard working. Compelling to watch...but...
Lisa.....you're fired! 

ARSENIO HALL

LOSES HIS COOL...AND SOME RESPECT

Arsenio's secret fantasy...well according to Aubrey it is to tap dance while dressed in a cheer leader outfit.
Arsenio lost my respect when he slagged Aubrey O'Day!
He sure brought out some extremely hurtful words from his secret stash. Shame on you ARSEnio.
Keep it about the task...not personal.
Wooo wooo wooo....Arsenio....you're fired!

CLAY AIKEN

RUNNER-UP AGAIN?

Clay's secret fantasy...don't think there is one...it's all out in the open.
Clay was playing it cool...but now his cover is blown!
He's not the darling we thought he was...but rather a shrewd and sometimes ruthless competitor.
His mind never stops as he weighs up his competition. He's crafty and cunning.
Some good ideas from Clay....and good performances. He stood up to Penn, which was admirable. He can dodge Lisa's poisoned arrows...just barely...she tolerates him just like a female black widow allows the male to enter her domain....for one purpose...to create more Lisa! 
His fifties/sixties jingle was bland and forgettable...like a free movie.
Clay...you're hired!

TERESA GUIDICE

HOUSEWIVES CHOICE

Teresa's secret fantasy...To be a celebrity.
Teresa could be the dark horse!
She is always involved but not prominent.
She can defend herself quite well when provoked but lacks the killer instinct shown by some of her opponents.
Her soft approach and innocence are very appealing and could serve to soften some of the potential blows she will most certainly be dealt.
Looks like Arsenio will try to outwit her this week. Watch your back Teresa!
Teresa...you're hired!

DAYANA MENDOZA

NOT SO UNIVERSAL

Dayana's secret fantasy...To be a dominatrix in Lisa Lampanelli's dungeon.
Dayana, Dayana! So beautiful, so sweet.
She wasn't forceful enough to have her ideas implemented, good or bad. She was portrayed as the victim though I suspect that she engineered at least some of the tense situations. Her beauty should have been more fully utilized by her team members....it sells...every time!
Dayana...you're fired!

PAUL TEUTUL Sr.

CHOPPER IS AXED

Paul's secret fantasy...To use his chopper in every show.
Paul was a great addition to the show.
He always seemed relaxed, sometimes to the point of being detached.
As project manager he was bewildered. As a set builder he was unequaled.
To his credit he was reluctant to belittle any of his teammates or opponents. 
A class act.
Paul...you're fired!

PENN JILLETTE

RAZOR SHARP

Penn's secret fantasy...To squish Clay Aiken like a grape.
Penn was the backbone of the show.
His mind is razor sharp, his ideas were solid.
Forever the showman, he was held back by the need to be kept on the show. He should have just said screw it and let the chips fall where they may.
He should have been in the top two.
Penn...you're hired!

LOU FERRIGNO

TRUE TO HIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER

Lou's secret fantasy....To actually be The Hulk.
Lou turned green once too often!
Although some of his efforts were commendable, he was out of his depth in many of the tasks.
He was unfairly pushed aside by the other celebs who should have taken the time to really talk to him and explain what they really needed him to do.
Lou came across as a bit of a whiner...partly due to skillful editing, partly of his own doing.
In his defence, working anywhere within reach of Lisa Lampanelli would turn anyone into the Hulk.
Lou...you're fired!

ADAM COROLLA

ON A ROLLA!
Adam's secret fantasy....To spend some time not being funny.
He's one of the funniest guys I've ever seen!
He should be brought back into the show as a celebrity mediator, giving a running commentary on every task and every fight.
Adam...you're hired!

TRUMP CARDS


ALWAYS AN ACE

The Trumps have this down to an art form!
Donald Trump can manoeuvre his show with as much skill and finesse as a top show jumper.
He is the celebrity whisperer.
The celebrities are unwittingly herded like sheep to a pen (or Penn), and more often than not, like lambs to the slaughter! All of this makes for fabulous entertainment.
Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric are his alert, swift border collies...quick with a nip to put any unruly celeb back in their place.
Ivanka is stunningly beautiful and a joy to my eyes. She should have her own show.
Did I mention that she's stunningly beautiful? 

WHO'S GONNA WIN?